Better Days & Getaways

 Am I too old for this? I feel like I’m not one who’s overtly sensitive and take everything to heart. I also don’t wear my heart on my sleeve so I can tolerate more than some people I know. Maybe life has made me this way, or maybe I was always like this.. My walls are up pretty high and beneath that  may be some weepy emotions. It’s that cliché that we all hear about in movies. This night though, I find myself taking long trips down memory lane and reminiscing in the music I once loved. Oh how music has so many memories attached to it. I’m glad to still have these feelings and I hope they don’t disappear. It’s okay to feel this way, it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to want to cry. Because our vulnerability is what makes us human. 

Oh how many times have I heard this phrase in the past two months. I think every teacher thought they were simply entering their March break expected some sort of break from their students/work. Little did we know that it would get extended into this social nightmare. I have so much respect for frontline workers who are helping those in need at this time. (Do teachers count?) Sometimes I find myself thinking how confusing this is. Little by little the restrictions are becoming less strict so to say, and what do we find? People are also calming down. I guess this can be beneficial because we are not panicking for toilet paper anymore (Muslims can’t relate). It’s also detrimental because it gives the false hope persona, and who knows who meets what and where. There are too many unknown variables at stake, and this affects people’s’ lives. I get it, it’s serious but at the same time relaxed? One day I found myself thinking about how crazy I’m going. How I feel trapped that I can just get ...

A good friend brought up an important point today. Openness in communication is quite refreshing. He said that at many times, people have a hard time communicating tricky emotions or desires, so it’s hard to find people who are more open about these things. When it comes to any of our relationships, we want to be able to be comfortable in our own skin and feel accepted, even for our shortcomings. Sometimes...emotions are just hard to decipher and at many times, we are just running away from what we know. We are scared that we will not be accepted for even thinking in these ways, and we are scared at where our own desires will lead. I’m not sure if I’m making any sense, but I want someone to accept my faulty feelings and tell me that it’s gonna be okay, that I’m doing the right thing. It’s a weird thing to be feeling this way, but I know it’s because of x y z. Unfortunately time was not written in the cards. So all we can do is keep on moving.