It's like you're a leech, sucking the life out of me.

When people come back into my life unannounced, i usually don't know how to react. And till this day, i still don't know. I don't even know if the things i say to him are appropriate because im thinking, i don't wanna give out the wrong message...but what's the right one? We're talking perfectly fine as if everyone is happy. And don't get me wrong, i'm over him but im being extremely nice to him. He probably knows it. He knows im probably wondering why he would wanna talk to me again. I thought we made it clear that we couldn't be friends. His definition of friends was different than mine, so we decided it wasn't possible. But now he's just so goddamn friendly...and certain things he says, i have no clue why you would say that to an ex, but he does. And you know what, i take it pretty well, and i don't make the situation awkward at all. But i do wonder...wth does this mean? It's easy for me to be normal with him but the initial confusion isnt going away anytime soon. No one's brought up the elephant in the room. The..."so, why did you start talking to me randomly?". I wanted to talk about it in person because in person ill realize how i feel about this. But that also needs to be organized...and i'll be damned if i do it. So i guess, im just on his call again. *sigh* why do i always find myself in a position where i'm not dominating. Where i'm on someone's hook. No, its not with anyone, just with him. He has so much control over me...ohmygoodness, still. But he can never find out. I have to act hard to get. Well, i don't have to act, but you know what i mean. I just wish we could have this talk so i could sleep at night. Like even if it's "oh we're just gonna see where this goes" An answer is better than nothing at all. 

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