Life Happens

Some people are meant to come in your life to teach you lessons, some people are meant to come into your life to break you so hard that you grow from it, and some people are meant to stay in your life and help you grow, side by side, hand in hand. The former of these two phrases are quite depressing. I'm not really sure what has happened. No, i do know what has happened. I got fucked. Pardon my French.  I don't know how else to describe it. I've never felt so disrespected, taken advantage of left right and centre. It hurts. When you tumble into a pit of nothingness where nothing is real anymore, nothing makes sense, nothing was honest, you just don't know how to react. How do you claim to love me and do these things? Love, this is not love. If this is your love please, i'd hate to see your hate. Oh but wait, i think i already have. How? How does someone have these things inside them, the ability to ruin someone. My biggest flaw was taken advantage of, I was always honest with you, but you were never honest with me. I told you how i felt, what you meant to me, how i opened my heart and my door to you not once, not twice, but three times. How do you do that? You knew exactly what you were doing. And you justify by saying that at least it was only for a week? Fuck no. I think what you forget to realize is that i don't believe in interventions, i believe in prevention. So i'd rather not have had it happen at all. Because who got burned? For the third time? I did. Not you. What kind of cruel lesson was this? Were you trying to prove your point? Were you trying to shove all these lies down my throat hoping i would accept them? How...how is someone so manipulative to the point where you feel like theres some good, theres some good in them. There has to be. Or else, how could i possible love such a terrible person? A person who at the get go took so much advantage of me. Advantage of the love that i had to offer. You said your mother always told you never to make promises to a girl, did she tell you to do the things you've done to me? Did she tell you that? Or wait, i'm sorry, she probably doesn't know your side. Do we forget that there's two sides to a story? Has everyone on this earth forgotten that? When i sincerely apologize to you because i know what i've done and i was there to fix it, to make it better...and that's what you do? Toss me to the side and tell me you don't have time for this? For God's sake at the end i wasn't even coming from that angle, i just wanted you in my life but again, Samra never gets what she wants. At the end of the day people are going to do what they want to do, be selfish, burn others and live on. I don't think you'll ever understand the amount of suffering you have caused me. I'm fucked. The worst part is is that i keep thinking that what if there was something i could have done differently, said differently, to make things change. Nothing would have changed though because once you decide, it's decided. When i see you again, i'll know not to expect, stay one step away, we won't have to wait.