Laisse-moi tranquille

As the time draws closer and closer to the moment in which I sign my life away, I just want to be alone. By nature and by heart, I'm introverted and reserved. I take my time to open up but when I do get comfortable, there's many a times in which I can't stop talking. Even though I may appear emotionless, I have a cornucopias amount of emotions inside and just like almost every human being on the planet, I'm scared of letting them surface. I'm reluctant to show my vulnerability. Granted, I've been vulnerable but it's a scary thought. So what does Samra do? She gets lost in her thoughts. Everyone wants to be around people who understand them, 100% fully, and doesn't doubt their intentions. As per the great XX, it felt like you really knew me, now it feels like you see through me. This lyric itself is slightly confusing in the sense where, is the band saying that the person does NOT know them anymore? Or is the band talking from the perspective that the person DOES in fact see through every lie and picture they try to portray (because they know them so well?). This song always resonated with me because if I could describe in words how I've felt, I would use every.single.word of this masterpiece. It's quite similar to the predicament that is portrayed in Dexter, where the protagonist is fighting a constant battle to show who he is to the people he's associated with, because if he truly shows, they will stop loving him. One can argue that this is not true as genuine love should be unconditional. But we are all scared of that conditional love...the kind that people seem to fall out of, the kind that judges someone else and concentrates on the flaws someone brings to the table. I'm in no sense sitting here saying that I'm perfect. There's no way I've seen that much of life to have done everything perfectly, and I never will. I just want people to accept me for who I am, my imperfections and quirks galore. Because there's very few people in this world that would, I'm okay being my own best friend.

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