I'm not there yet

"Anyone can hold a grudge, but it takes a person with character to forgive. When you forgive, you release yourself from a painful burden. Forgiveness doesn't mean what happened was OK, and it doesn't mean that the person should still be welcomed in your life. It just means that you have made peace with the pain, and are ready to let it go." I came across this quote today in class and it caught my eye. Why? Because i can't relate to it. Is this how i'm supposed to be about what happened? I want to get there I really do, but it's going to take some time. Time is what I need for everything in my life to fit perfectly together and it's not that i want to fast forward or anything, I just want time to go by so i can be where i need to be. I'm tired of feeling angry, honestly i am. I just want to feel nothing, i want to feel nothing towards him and my past. He isn't worth any emotion. I want to be where that quote is. I know i got there at one point in my life before, so i know i can get there again but i'm not there yet. And i have the best help that anyone could ever ask for. Honestly, he's great to me. He knows what to say, he knows how to act. He meets my high as fuck expectations without me ever having to say anything. I am so grateful that God has blessed me with a person like him in this strange path that is my life. Doesn't mean I'm not scared to open up to someone again to that extent but with him it's different. Everything comes naturally. And evidently his cheesiness is rubbing off on me.  

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