Between a rock and a hard place

The song "Pushing me Away" is a constant reminder of how horrible it must be to get your heart broken. And guys, i too have the experience of being rejected...it freakin' sucks. But what sucks even more is when someone who's experienced a broken heart, has to break someone else's. I am not looking forward to this conversation...but i know i must have it. I've never been in this situation, and i'm not happy i am in it right now. I don't want to hurt anyone...I wish this hadn't come up, because now it changes things. It changes our dynamic. It's like a can of worms that has been opened and can never be closed. I know how hard it must be for this person to express whatever it is that they're feeling inside and maybe, the fact that they have now told me, might even boost their confidence a little. But i don't want to be in this situation. What's my first instinct? To runaway and ignore it. But that wouldn't be fair to them now would it? I owe it to them to give a proper answer. I'm just scared...because 8 months ago i said i would never wish this feeling upon anyone, even my enemy, and this person isn't my enemy, they're a nice person, which makes it 10x worst. I don't feel anything for them because i'm not ready to be involved with someone. Even if i was willing to be in a relationship, it'd be with someone whom i was crazy about. And i'm just not crazy about this person.  I'm sorry. I hope they have it in their heart to forgive me. 
It's funny because my last post describes how all the small things shouldn't worry people because life has so much more to offer. But when the small thing means hurting someone else...i worry. I don't want to talk but i cannot continue without doing so. And thus, i am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Impressions

First impressions are undoubtedly very important. I mean, I find myself in a career where I need to go into the classroom with confidence and a glowing attitude or else my students will walk all over me and take advantage. And God only knows that I don’t want to be a doormat again (this ain’t London). I know that in a classroom, it’s not about being aggressive, rather assertive . That is the first impression I want to be able to depict to my students right from the get-go. Because let’s be honest, I still feel like a little girl (thank you petite-ness). Any important situation whether we’re at an interview, at a party or meeting our work team, the first impressions are so important and most of the times spot-on. Of course, you shouldn’t just judge someone on their first impression if it wasn’t the best, give them that benefit of the doubt. One feels more comfortable judging after they get to know someone. I mean, the truth is that you can’t live your life without being judged, t...
Read more

Thank you for the lesson

  A long time ago I came across some words of wisdom which explained the importance of forgiveness. At that stage in my life, I was completely anti forgiveness. I still understand why, and though I’d like to say my views on said topic have changed, I’d be slightly lying. I’m very good at blocking things out of my life, that’s how I cope. But every once in a blue moon, you get an unnecessary, by chance reminder. And it kinda takes you to mental head space you had kept far away. A few (many) words that I want to say to my past self; “You knew better. How could you allow it time after time? You wasted your time investing energy and effort into a dead end. Feels dumb doesn’t it? Everything that was said, was said to break you, all excuses, immaturity and white noise. Realize it and understand. Not everyone you meet will have good intentions and true sentiments. Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apologies you’ve never gotten. Don’t free the criminal from the crime, just f...
Read more