Too good to be true

You know that feeling when you think you've finally began to take a step forward in your life? Well, you know that feeling where that step you took counts for nothing because you're back to the beginning again? Yeah, that one. It's a pretty disheartening feeling. To fall flat on your face again is not something that everyone wishes to feel. For this past week, i have thought long and hard about how i can move forward from what happened. I thought i made the right decision, but after a few moments and a surprising text message, i had come back to what i was trying to run away from. I have taken all the parts with you out of my life. You made this decision easy for me and I thank you for it. How awful would it had been if you had actually wanted to stay friends with me. Anytime i would see your face it would only remind me of the numerous amount of despair and pain you had caused me. But then I'd be between a rock and a hard place, thinking 0f course i wish to remain friends with you, but how can i when you've hurt me so? Thank you for making my decision easier, my decision to cut you out of my life. But then you came back. I wish i hadn't heard what i had heard. I cannot unhear what I've heard so i must live with that piece of information. No i don't want to know you. I don't want to know anything. If God has made it so we will never see each other again then why can he not make it so we will never know about each other again? This is unfair because I want to move on. And somehow, whenever i appear to be close to that finish line, i find out i have another lap to go...because it's too good to be true.

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